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The Wacky World of Insurance 保险无奇不有

 

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课文讲解

 

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Do you lie awake at night worrying about being struck by an asteroid? If so, there are many “Twilight Zone” insurance policies available to cover such contingencies. While some are just clever spoofs (like reincarnation insurance which you may claim only upon your rebirth), others are legitimate, albeit highly specialized, insurance policies. In the wacky world of insurance, almost any scenario can be covered.

你会晚上睡不着觉,担心被小行星击中吗?如果会的话,别担心,有很多稀奇古怪的保险【注】可以投保,可对这种意外事件防范未然。有些只是聪明的技俩(像是投保轮回转世险,只有当你再投胎之后才能申请理赔),其他的保险虽然非常特别,但是是合法的。在荒诞的保险领域内,保任何怪诞的险都可能。

 

Most popular among the genuinely weird insurance offerings are body part policies. Take, for example, the case of Poh, a Thai transvestite performer. Fearful of his (her?) breast implants exploding at high altitudes, Poh’s breasts were insured for $500,000 by Lloyd’s of London. Many other famous and not-so-famous entertainers, from Bruce Springsteen and his gravelly voice to Dolly Parton and her ample bosom, have insured their key assets.

在荒诞不经的保险中最受欢迎的是肢体险。以波为例,波是泰国的人妖秀表演者。因为担心他(她?)的隆乳会在高处爆开,所以波替他的乳房向伦敦洛伊德公司投保了50万美元。其他很多有名或不怎么太有名的艺人,从嗓音沙哑的布鲁斯史宾斯汀到大胸脯的桃乐芭顿,都把他们的重要部位投保了。

 

On the truly zany side, The St. Lawrence Agency in Altamont, Florida, offers a UFO abduction policy that pays up if you’re kidnapped or impregnated by an extraterrestrial being. Successful claimants may collect US$1 per year for a million years or until death. An authorized alien signature is, however, required. Even odder is that someone has actually been awarded a claim.

真正疯狂的保险是佛罗里达州亚特蒙的圣劳伦斯保险公司,他们提供了幽浮绑架险,如果你被外星人绑架了或是怀了外星人的种,你便可以申请理赔。索赔成功的话,能够每年领一美元,领一百万年,或者一直领到过世为止。不过先决条件是经公认过的外星人签名。更奇怪的是真的已经有人理赔了。

 

In a strange world, only strange insurance will do.

在千奇百怪的世界里,不保些奇特的保险是不行的。

 

【注】Twilight Zone「阴阳魔界」是六十年代初著名的电视影集,因为影集情节常常很超现实,且结局通常很出人意料之外,所以这些特性常被拿来引用。

 

Vocabulary

单词发音

 

wacky [ˋwækɪ] adj.【非正式】疯疯癫癫的; 古怪的﹐荒唐的

asteroid [ˋæstə͵rɔɪd] n.【天】小行星

policy [ˋpɑləsɪ] n. 保险单;保险

spoof [spuf] n. 愚弄;欺骗

reincarnation [͵riɪnkɑrˋneʃən] n. 化身;转世

albeit [ɔlˋbiɪt] conj. 连接词【书】尽管,虽然

scenario [sɪˋnɛrɪ͵o] n.【义】情节;剧本; 可能发生的事﹐可能出现的情况

weird [wɪrd] adj.【非正式】古怪的﹐奇异的

transvestite [trænsˋvɛstaɪt] n. 异性装扮癖者

gravelly [ˋgrævəlɪ] adj. 声音粗哑的

bosom [ˋbʊzəm] n.(女人的)乳房

zany [ˋzenɪ] adj. 荒唐可笑的;稀奇古怪的

impregnate [ɪmˋprɛg͵net] v. 使怀孕;使受精

extraterrestrial [ˋɛkstrətəˋrɛstrɪəl] adj. 地球外的

claimant [ˋklemənt] n. 申请人; 要求者; 索赔人

 

 

Sentence of the Day

Truth is stranger than fiction.

实情通常比故事更加荒诞不轻。

 

 

 

课文讲解

 

Andy is playing video games while his sister-in-law Betty reads a magazine:  安迪在打电动,他大嫂贝蒂在看杂志:

 

B: Hey, look at this ad from Cutty Sark Whisky. They’re offering ₤1 million to anyone who catches the Loch Ness Monster alive.

嘿,你看这则「魔女紧身衣」广告(编按:为清淡型苏格兰威士忌的商品名),他们悬赏一百万英镑给活捉尼斯湖水怪的人。

 

A: Really? I’d laugh if they actually had to cough up the prize money.

真的吗?如果他们真的必须实际吐出这笔奖金来,我可要偷笑了。

 

B: Even if someone caught Nessie, they probably wouldn’t lose much. You can insure yourself against the most unlikely of events.

即使有人真的捉到了尼斯湖水怪,或许他们并不会损失很多钱。即使是最荒诞不经的事,你也能买到保险。

 

A: I’ve heard of these special risk policies. The local baseball team took one out after that disastrous lottery promotion last year. They misprinted the tickets and ended up with several grand prize winners!

我听过这类特别风险的保单。本地棒球队在去年乐透促销出了大纰漏之后,就保了那种险。他们把票印错了,结果变成好几个人都中了大奖。

 

B: I remember that. I hear the players themselves also have special policies for kidnapping and ransom. That’s the price of fame, I guess.

我记得那回事。我听说球员自己对于绑票和赎金也有特别保险,我想那大概就是有名气的代价吧。

 

A: I wonder if they insure their body parts like other celebrities. Keith Richards, the guitarist for the Rolling Stones, has insured his hands.

我很好奇,不知道他们是否像其他名人一样把自己的身体各部位投保。滚石的吉他手基思理查德德德德就已经把他的手投保了。

 

B: How about wedding insurance? Like if there’s bad weather.

那有关婚礼的保险呢?譬如说婚礼碰到坏天气。

 

A: I think you can get that. I know my cousin in California had to get special liability insurance for her wedding hall.

我想那也能投保。我加州的表姊以前碰过,她结婚礼堂的保险曾经保了特别条款。

 

B: Betch’a can’t get insurance to cover cold feet, though.

我打赌你【注】找不到保险来保「悔婚」。

 

A: Who knows? Maybe I need to insure my fingers for playing video games.

谁晓得?或许我需要保一下我打电动的手指头。

 

B: I wouldn’t bother.

我认为还是免了吧。

 

A: Rats! Game over.

啊,完了!游戏挂了。

 

【注】”Betch’a”是”I [will] bet you”的口语上非正式缩写。

 

by Howie Phung

 

Vocabulary

单词发音

 

loch [lɑk] n.【苏格兰】湖; 〔部分伸入陆地的〕海湾

cough up 掏出; 勉强说出(某事)to pay money unwillingly

take out 取得,获得,领到(贷款、执照、保单等)

lottery [ˋlɑtərɪ] n. 彩票;摸彩

ransom [ˋrænsəm] n. 赎金

liability [͵laɪəˋbɪlətɪ] n. 责任,义务

batch’a  I bet you

cold feet 信心或勇气的丧失,胆怯 Informal loss or lack of courage or confidence

 

 

Sentence of the Day

Some of those buying insurance have got more money than sense.

有些人买保险是钱太多了乱花钱,买的并没有意义。

 

 

 

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